Today I was sharing a theory and got the response “so you think it’s just psychosomatic.” I chose to ignore the warning signs and continued “since it involves mind (psyche) and body (soma), yes, you could say it is psychosomatic.” After the scathing response I started to argue definition versus connotation until I remembered that the meaning of communication is the response that you get.

Put another way: what I think I am saying is less important than what the other person thinks I am saying.

If that doesn’t make you squirm a bit read it again.

This firmly places the mantle of responsibility on each of us to ensure actual communication, the transfer of thought and meaning to someone else, is occuring. If what I am saying is not being understood it is solely my “fault” and it is my responsibility to do something differently in order to communicate clearly. No more indignant you know what I meant or that’s not what I said! responses.

This afternoon I ran across a great neurological explanation that supports my original theory. Now it is up to me to be creative in continuing the conversation so that I can clearly communicate my ideas.

In what situation today will you take responsibility for your communication and practice your behavioral flexibility?